whatever.

DREAM

my dream: (sorry for the informal tone, this is from a comment on facebook)

okayyy here it goesss…… SO i was out camping with my parents and there was some kind of like lame tourist attraction cave thing around and my parents really wanted to go see so i decided to stay at the camp site while they went. i waited around and they had been there a while so i got kind of nervous because no one else was around so i went to  go see if i could find them and they had been trapped behind some rocks or something. so as soon as i helped them get out we discovered that the cave was full of traps very indiana jones-esque. so we were all whasss this about!? so we kept going deeper into the cave and we found that there were all these people in the very back of the cave and it was this warped cult like thing and they brainwashed all this people and shit. there were like bars and all this creepy shit and like alot of (i forget the term for it) animal fucking………………. reallyweird. so we were like shit! we gotta get outta here but they discovered my parents and captured them and were trying to brainwash me and shit! but there was a guy there who was pretending to be a part of everything but was really on my side sooo he helped me escape and turns out the other side of the cave led into the back of a grocery store and the grocery store was like the cult’s front or something and all the people there were brainwashed too but i escaped and was standing outside the grocery store like trying to decide how to help my parents but i kept hallucinating/being haunted by the effects of the brainwash so i was fucked anyway. it was just REALLY realistic and terrifying i could tell you every detail…….. OMG

Stephens interpretation:

god has provided me with an interpretation:
something (your past, old ways of thought) is pulling you in a direction that you don’t want to go. you rebel against it, but cannot fully pull away from this, whether it is out of fear, or caring, or whatever might keep you from pulling away. you try to hold onto it, but only find yourself falling deeper and deeper into confusion (traps) over where you should be. all the brainwashing shows a feeling that you are not yourself, or that something is trying to keep you from being yourself. and you look around and you can see everyone else who has allowed the brainwashing to go on, those who have conformed to whatever is put in front of them, those that refuse to be themselves, if you will.

i see this as: you are trying to find yourself, but you have difficulty with that because doing this means shunning some part of your past, or your life, or your family that has been so deeply burned into you that think it is supposed to be there. hence the being haunted by the effects of the brainwashing.

favorite part, by the way: “so we were all whasss this about!?”

not quite sure how the animal fucking fits in haha

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

soup, saltines, and a quiet life

i feel safest  when i’m on the floor